GaRyland.net

Feeling a little grr tonight….

Settling into a good headspace but am missing old times…

It has been a crazy couple of weeks, I am glad of distractions from friends however, feeling grr lately

Wishing had more time to talk…

Saw this in an apartment in Germany… Well worth repeating.

So I’m just back from a crazy whirlwind visit to Germany over the weekend. Was sent over as part of a work trip, for an office move on the weekend.

It was a pretty busy move but we got the work done. I was even luckier in that I was able to escape Frankfurt on the Saturday afternoon and go and see Ben and Dagmar. Caught the train up through the snow bound countryside to Bonn and had a brilliant time.

I had forgotten how relaxed I felt in their house. I was literally releasing muscles I hadn’t realised I was holding in.

My headspace since seeing them, plus having some extra time to myself has really helped me in processing. I’m god awful tired at the moment and I still feel a bit ‘waagh’ over certain situation but my headspace is much better.

I’ve remembered how far I’ve come in opening up and changing. 2010 looks to be another interesting year

May this New Year be a bright as can be for me and for you…

Neil Gaimen says’s it the best…

http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2009/12/wishes.html

I know it’s bad form to repeat yourself, but I was about to list all the things I hope for the readers of this blog in 2005, and I realised I’d already written it back in 2001, when I said…

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

And I sent them to http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2008/12/another-year.html which ended,

…I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you’ll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you’ll make something that didn’t exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.

How
Did the rose
Ever open it’s heart

And give to this world
All it’s
Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light
Against it’s
Being

Otherwise,
We all remain

Too

Frightened

~~Hafiz

It Felt Love by ~plasticastle on deviantART

God, I love how music can resonate with you and make you feel alive.

I have just bought the new Powderfinger album ‘Golden Rule’. Love these guys, but one song is going on repeat at the moment.

Burn the Sky
“I want every single soul to know
That I love you for what you are
So I sound the bells that praise your precious heart

(Burn your name right across the sky
So I never forget what the feeling’s like) ”

Captures exactly what I want to say….

Can’t seem to get this song out of my head… Seeing it from 2 different angles at the moment

Fantastic song, by Missy Higgins “Where I Stood”

“And I won’t be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

‘Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don’t know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
‘Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood”

I love this singer… And I love how the universe keeps changing my preconceptions of myself…

Too busy lately, looking forward to the weekend…

Even then I’ll be busy doing Christmas shopping.

Would really like to just sit down a relax for a while, but I also want to setup my room properly, tidy the house, take donations to the op shop, rebuild my laptop and catchup with friends..

Hmm, keep talking about have time to process. Really need to make sure that I do that.

Looking forward to having Christmas time off….

Mindful of where I am now, so much happier than before.

Emotions flowing through me, one after another. Contentment, Jealousy, Love, Fear.

Happiness is the overiding message

Don’t need other people to reinforce what I should be happy about…

So I’m donating some books to a charity shop and went in to check it was OK.
Lovely lady said it was fine, but wanted to check if they were ‘dirty’

….

Moment of silence and she then said “I meant grubby”

Found this article again, need to keep remembering number 25

http://www.cleveland.com/brett/blog/index.ssf/2006/05/regina_bretts_45_life_lessons.html

25. No one is in charge of your

happiness except you.

Also….

http://www.flickr.com/photos/studies_and_observations/3988991349/

“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.”
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Still very upset over this Sunday. Feels like a punch in the gut. Head understands why, heart is pissed off…

I feel disrespected.

I’ve been giving you space to adjust and you have not given me the same curtesy. I understand you wanting to grab hold of new connections and overcoming fears to do so, but it’s a shock to my system…

I’m just starting to re-organise properly. While this may be a good thing for you, it hurts me at the moment. I want you to be happy, and I want the same for me.

It would be great to do this from a place where we can support each other to do so. The lack of communication over what was occurring is my biggest disappointment…

Sunday was such a shock, my head understands what happened and why. My heart doesn’t…

Grrrr…..

So, had my first hit around on a squash court in about 10-15 years last night.

Man, it was fun… forgot how much I liked it. Kept bringing back memories of the Albion Park squash courts and the travelling we used to do for the local league.

Lot of respect now for my parents, driving me each weekend to those clubs…

Will be joining the club and getting myself a new racket for some proper games during the New Year.

Another guy is also starting out who lives locally, hopefully we’ll get some games in twice a week or so…

Hmmm, maybe once a week