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Can’t seem to get this song out of my head… Seeing it from 2 different angles at the moment

Fantastic song, by Missy Higgins “Where I Stood”

“And I won’t be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

‘Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don’t know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
‘Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood”

I love this singer… And I love how the universe keeps changing my preconceptions of myself…

Too busy lately, looking forward to the weekend…

Even then I’ll be busy doing Christmas shopping.

Would really like to just sit down a relax for a while, but I also want to setup my room properly, tidy the house, take donations to the op shop, rebuild my laptop and catchup with friends..

Hmm, keep talking about have time to process. Really need to make sure that I do that.

Looking forward to having Christmas time off….

Mindful of where I am now, so much happier than before.

Emotions flowing through me, one after another. Contentment, Jealousy, Love, Fear.

Happiness is the overiding message

Don’t need other people to reinforce what I should be happy about…

So I’m donating some books to a charity shop and went in to check it was OK.
Lovely lady said it was fine, but wanted to check if they were ‘dirty’

….

Moment of silence and she then said “I meant grubby”

Found this article again, need to keep remembering number 25

http://www.cleveland.com/brett/blog/index.ssf/2006/05/regina_bretts_45_life_lessons.html

25. No one is in charge of your

happiness except you.

Also….

http://www.flickr.com/photos/studies_and_observations/3988991349/

“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.”
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Still very upset over this Sunday. Feels like a punch in the gut. Head understands why, heart is pissed off…

I feel disrespected.

I’ve been giving you space to adjust and you have not given me the same curtesy. I understand you wanting to grab hold of new connections and overcoming fears to do so, but it’s a shock to my system…

I’m just starting to re-organise properly. While this may be a good thing for you, it hurts me at the moment. I want you to be happy, and I want the same for me.

It would be great to do this from a place where we can support each other to do so. The lack of communication over what was occurring is my biggest disappointment…

Sunday was such a shock, my head understands what happened and why. My heart doesn’t…

Grrrr…..

So, had my first hit around on a squash court in about 10-15 years last night.

Man, it was fun… forgot how much I liked it. Kept bringing back memories of the Albion Park squash courts and the travelling we used to do for the local league.

Lot of respect now for my parents, driving me each weekend to those clubs…

Will be joining the club and getting myself a new racket for some proper games during the New Year.

Another guy is also starting out who lives locally, hopefully we’ll get some games in twice a week or so…

Hmmm, maybe once a week

I’m glad for the talk, it cleared stuff.

But, it still hurts….

Space is needed…

Looking forward to the weekend. Hopefully a chance to relax a bit and maybe even clear my head (and the air)….

Looking to clear my room and get the wallpaper up as well.

Should be a good night at the Funky on Sat as well

Got a game of squash booked in for next Thursday which will be really good… if I can remember how to play

Moving to a better headspace at the moment. Want to talk but realise that time is needed for processing on both sides. Really want to talk still…

Work is really messing my headspace up still. I have things I need to complete but no motivation to do so…

Really need some time off.

Looking to reconnect with some friends this week that I haven’t seen for a while and also talk to squash club about joining up.

Need to investigate music idea I had as well…

Ha, brain is moving into ‘must remember to do that’ mode. I think this is a good thing….

Filed in the 636's I believe

http://cuteoverload.com/2009/11/20/friday-haiku-dewey-love-ya/

Too many attempts to post this already. I need to get this stuff out of my head.

Our relationship will survive and be even stronger, but it really hurts right now… Struggling to maintain boundaries.

Breathe deep and let things go.
One day at a time

Hold the line
Grrrrrrrrrrrr

Been updating the site more lately as I’ve finally realised that a blog is a great way to get stuff out of my head.

I’ve got a long history of over analysing stuff and putting that stuff out on a blog is a great way to hopefully stop doing that.

I now have a maze to help with moving stuff out of my head

Now I just need a proper map

What is the use in apologising for something if you just keep repeating the same issue ?

It’s through committing to changing that behavior that you are able to escape the pattern.

I will change this pattern.

I will keep my promises.